I was never taught that I was the one who made me feel things. I began my life believing that the external world had the power over how I was feeling and I had the power over how they were feeling. As a result I lived a life feeling very vulnerable, anxious and out of my contro in a world where I was told that it was my fault for making my pa hurting someone or making them cry. and I was to blameI was told that it was my fault that I hurt someone. People blamed me and I was never taught at home or at school to take responsibility for my feelings and was often told that it was my fault that my mum and dad and friends were upset with meso I put the responsibilty and blame on everyone else and anything else.
This one belief created so many challenges in my life that I struggled endlessly until I was 25. At this time I moved to Eugene Oregon is the USA. Eugene was an alternative and open minded city filled with creative and spiritual people who lived life in a way that I never knew existed. These people were “free”. They expressed themselves openly and honesty through self love and acceptance. I soon learned that they all had one thing I did not, they all held this one belief …..they believed that they were responsibile for all their feelings. This gave them choice and control over how they felt and how they didn’t. This belief allowed them to put their needs first so they cared about themselves and did not worry about or take responsibilty for what other people felt and instead focused themselves.